Posted by on Jun 27, 2011 in babies and teeth, first time teething, remedies for teething, teething babies | 17 comments

We are in teething hell.

The first tooth came in like a dream. A little extra fussiness for a couple days and then BAM: Hello, cute little tooth!

The second tooth is sort of an a-hole. A sleep-preventing, diarrhea-inducing, mood-sucking a-hole.

Of course, we could deal with that fairly well, I think, if Ryan’s asthma hadn’t suddenly decided to flare up with a vengeance. I’m sure he’s thoroughly enjoying being reunited with the cough and congestion that plagued him for months. It’s sort of like reconnecting with an old friend on Facebook. If that old friend were an a-hole.

Oh, also? He’s suddenly started doing a whole host of other bizarre things, including licking his chin at strange times, shuddering as though he’s cold, and flinching and sputtering after eating any solid food. Therefore, I spent a good portion of my Sunday morning googling “neurological disorders in babies.”

It’s kind of hard to blame him then that he’s not sleeping real well (at all?) and he’s in something of a pissy mood. He becomes exhausted, practically begs us to put him down for a nap, but as soon as we do, he remembers that his gums hurt and his breathing is constricted. And so the sound that comes over the monitor is as follows:

“Mmmmmmmmmm. Mmmmmmmmm. Mmmmmmaaaaaaaaaa. MA. Mmmmmmmmma. MMMMMMMMMMMMMM. MMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAA.”

I like to think that he’s calling for me. But he’s not. He’s just whining. And rightfully so, I’d say.

I’m trying to be all “this too shall pass,” but I am finding it difficult. Cuz he’s got surgery scheduled for Wednesday to get tubes shoved into his ears, on account of a beastly four-month ear infection. And I’m not sure they’ll allow us to go through with it if we waltz in there with a kid who is whining, drooling buckets, coughing and breathing as though he’s been smoking for 25 years.

Mike says we just need to laugh about it. That’s all we can do, right? Just laugh.

Well, I’d like to laugh about someone else’s misfortune for once. I’m tired of laughing at my own. (I’m KIDDING. I do not make it a habit to laugh at someone else’s misfortune. Unless that someone is an a-hole.)

Actually, Mickey is kind of an a-hole for just sitting there and grinning like that.

We did survive the weekend mostly in tact. Except for the ringing in my ears from all the screaming.

Oh … and did I mention that I chipped a tooth in my sleep?

I swear, you can’t make this stuff up.

Do you see why I drink wine?