I sometimes stare in wonder at my kid and think, “Wow, Bud, you have it made.”
2. Except in extenuating circumstances (such as pregnancy or the month of December), my clothes always fit. I don’t constantly have someone yanking a shirt over my belly and muttering, “Eh, wear it one more time.”
3. I can watch as much annoyingly bad TV as my heart desires and no one will flip off my show and tell me to go play with my cars instead.
4. My books have WAY better story lines. Never ONCE have I been surprised that Baby Rhino goes to sleep at the end of Sleep Tight, Baby Rhino.
5. If I want a fourth cookie, I’ll eat a fourth cookie. And if I want a fifth? Well, I’ll probably cut myself off at that point, but the point is I could eat it.
6. It has to be said: my iPhone is way cooler than his Elmo phone.