Family and friends keep telling me the pieces will fall into place.
That all the hopes and dreams and what-ifs and if-onlys are going to come together in a beautiful way.
I have doubts. There are so many pieces. I’m grasping for faith.
Let’s stop being vague, yes? Mike’s job is running out. As of March 29, his company as we know it will shut down. It’s a company we believe in, one that has treated him well. We are sad to see it go. Not just for us, but for the families it serves.
But … it is what it is.
March 29. That’s in 19 weeks.
(Not that I’m counting.)
I don’t know how to write this. I don’t know to explain in one little post all the things running through my head. All the conversations we’ve had that have led to the point we’re at now: The biggest decision we may ever make.
What I can say is this: We never meant to stay in Arizona this long. A year after we met, circa 2005, we swore to family that we were headed back. The fact that we’re still here at all is a tribute to this beautiful state, the amazing friends we’ve met, the fulfilling jobs we’ve held. (And, you know, the bad economy.)
But things change. Friends leave. Jobs end. And scenery no longer fulfills.
Plus, it’s a fact: When a kid enters the picture, your view shifts. An expansive, romantic desert landscape begins to feel … stifling.
His job is running out. Time is running out. We are here, but our families all reside in Ohio and Pennsylvania. We’re moving.
Mike is looking for jobs. He is working all angles. I’m so lucky to be married to a man who is an extreme professional. I highly value work ethic, and this man exudes work ethic.
(Anyone know of a company that needs a competent, creative communications professional in the Philadelphia area? I know a guy.)
It’s hard. I have a lot to say about Arizona and my eight and a half years here. I’ll save that for another day. For now, I’ll just say that it has been magical. My friends here have truly become my family.
But it’s time to go.
This is why my blogging may have seemed sparse in recent weeks. You have to be careful how you announce these things, what you say and how you say it. You never know who is reading. It’s just that I have a hard time writing when I can’t write with complete openness and honesty.
Here’s me being honest: This is scary. I have a job right now. A job that pays well, a job we’ll be leaving behind. A job that I thought I could be happy in for years and years. But things change, don’t they?
It’s not really about the money. As former journalists, we know how to live cheaply. We don’t care much about having expensive things. But I never thought I’d give up a job … for no job. That’s scary to me.
But that’s the plan. We will move back East and Mike will work and I will stay home with Ryan and I will write. This is the dynamic that we think is best for our family right now.
(A post on me freaking out over becoming a Work-At-Home Mom to come. Multiple posts. Multiple, multiple posts.)
So there it is. We are moving. In 19 weeks. Job or no job. To the Philadelphia area. (But hopefully sooner than 19 weeks, with employment lined up, please-please-please.)
It’s a journey that is sure to be filled with stress, humor and hope.