1. You wipe down a table and it stays wet. Forever.
2. It takes you twice as long to blow dry your hair as it did in the desert. Furthermore, after all that effort, your normally straight, limp, fine hair does this:
3. None of your rings fit anymore on account of your humidity-swollen fingers (note huge fingers in above picture).
4. You run your dehumidifier for three hours, empty a huge bucket of water and think, “Wait, where the eff WAS all of this?! In the AIR?!”
5. You walk outside and smell wood burning and think, “This reminds me of smelling wood burning in Sedona, which reminded me of Back East… Oh, wait…”
6. On a crisp August morning, you stand outside freezing your butt off for five minutes simply because you can’t believe it is less than 90 degrees at 7 a.m.
7. Your kid splashes in rain puddles. Multiple times a week. In his first-ever pair of rain boots.
8. You not only know your neighbors, but you know their kids, their siblings and their home contractors. You know where they’re from and what they do for a living. You know one’s kitchen work will be done in less than four weeks and you have seen the design layout. You know the other has been on call at work for two weeks and has 12 hours left to go before he can finally drink a couple beers. They all know an equal amount about you, which is far more than any neighbor over the past decade has known.
9. You tell your husband that if he feels like getting out of the office for lunch, you’ve got a $1-off coupon for a Shorti at Wawa. You know this elevates you from good wife to best wife one could ever hope to marry.
10. The word “wudder” starts to sound less funny and more normal.