I posted last month about how Ryan adamantly does not want to grow up.

I should have titled that post “Things Ryan Insists Upon On a Daily Basis, Part 1”.

Part 2 would be this:

His. Name. Is. RYAN. You ignorant fool!

It began innocently enough. We’d call out to him with something cute like, “Come on, ya little tater tot, let’s go!

And he’d respond with unexpected fury: “I. Am. Not. A. Tater. Tot! My. Name. Is. RYAN!

Or we’d give him a compliment:

Wow, you look so tan!

I’m not tan! My name is Ryan!

Or we’d demonstrate respect:

“Oh, yes sir!”

“I’m not a sir! My name is Ryan!”

Naturally, as soon as we discovered the heightened level of annoyance he felt at being called a random name, we could no longer control it. Cutesy nicknames began flying about with abandon.

On any give day, he might be a Hummus Head, Stinker Face or Buster Brown. We might make reference to the fact that he appears to resemble a hot dog, a rhino or a snicker doodle.

Each name is met with the same sort of infuriated resistance. “I. Am. NOT. A. Potato Chip! My Name is Ryan!

I have good news, though. Occasionally, at the end of his rant, he adds that he is a “big boy.” For example: “I am not a little beach bum! My name is Ryan The Big Boy!

Perhaps we’re making progress on Part 1?

5 Responses to His name is Ryan.

  1. Megan says:

    Haha, Leland does this too.

  2. Jaclyn says:

    Oh my god, I remember very vividly doing this to my dad. He always called me “cookie,” and I’d throw back, “I am not a cookie, I am a human bean!!!” How he never started calling me a “bean” is beyond me.

  3. Likethewrap says:

    When Levi was little and anyone called him any thing other than Levi, he would proclaim “I’m Eee-Vi!” Now when I open the cara door for him I said, “your door sir” and he’ll said “I’m not a sir, I’m a dude.”

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