Phase Three of Life

Navigation Menu

The privilege of bearing witness.

Posted by on Dec 8, 2017 in Uncategorized | 6 comments

I remember the day I changed my mind. It wasn’t after our foster son, James, left our home, as one might assume. It was before. Weeks before, in fact. The day it occurred to me that I did, in fact, want to have another baby, it wasn’t because I was looking to replace. It wasn’t because life as foster parents felt like it was coming crashing down around us...

Read More

On pregnancy loss.

Posted by on Nov 13, 2017 in Uncategorized | 12 comments

“It’s nothing you did,” she tells me. “It’s nothing you did, and it’s nothing you didn’t do.” I nod because I know she’s supposed to say this. I nod because I know it’s true. I nod because I sense that I am supposed to respond, but I cannot yet speak. I wonder whether she’s said these words to anyone else today. I wonder how many times during an average...

Read More

Kids Book Review (and Giveaway!)

Posted by on Oct 13, 2017 in Uncategorized | 11 comments

This morning, Ryan turned to me and asked, “What do you call a hand that helps?” “I don’t know… what?” I replied, even though I could sort of tell where this joke was headed. “A helping hand,” he exclaimed, grinning and raising his eyebrows up and down in that mischievous way he does. Dude is really into jokes at the moment. He likes to learn them (or make...

Read More


Posted by on Sep 21, 2017 in Uncategorized | 2 comments

Dear Ryan, Today, you turned seven years old. I’ve been looking at baby and toddler pictures of you recently and sometimes I think you still look exactly the same, and other times I can’t believe how grown up you look now. I probably say this every year, but I love the stage you’re in right now. You are becoming more independent every day, which means you...

Read More

How One Man Went From Foster Care Advocate to Dad {HuffPost}

Posted by on Sep 6, 2017 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

The day that changed the course of Jon Cardoza’s life started out as a fairly ordinary one. He’d gotten in trouble at school – again – and was sitting down over sandwiches that afternoon to endure yet another lecture from his mentor. “That was the day he popped the question,” Jon recalls now, more than a year later. “He was like, ‘Oh my gosh, you are so...

Read More

On failure.

Posted by on Aug 10, 2017 in Uncategorized | 18 comments

My cell phone rings, lighting up with a now-familiar phone number. I swallow hard, swipe the screen and answer: “Hey, kiddo.” The voice on the other end belongs to a 10-year-old boy. A boy who lived with us for three months. The boy we fully expected and intended to make an official part of our family. The one we were supposed to keep forever. There’s...

Read More